NBA Draft: Fixing Failure

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Here at The Switchboard we like to focus on success: Those people, places and ideas that show the innovation of which our generation is capable.  This article examines nothing of the sort.  Let’s take a look at how we might fix one of the worst teams in sporting history.

On the eve of the NBA Draft, we are only a few hours away from the Charlotte Bobcats wasting another high draft pickand anotherand another.  Maybe the answer for the Bobcats isn’t in the draft…

We think that the answer to fixing the worst team in basketball’s annals might be sitting in the Bobcats’ executive suite counting (or gambling away) his millions.  Though Michael Jordan represents a problem for the Bobcats from an executive standpoint, he is still a public relations dream.

Here’s our plan for the greatest marketing scheme in the history of sports:

This plan is predicated on the Bobcats keeping an extra roster spot open for the entirety of the season (We don’t think they’ll miss Matt Carroll’s 2.3 ppg, but who are we kidding? They’re the Bobcats.)

Prior to tickets going on sale for next season, owners will announce that His Royal Airness, Michael Jordan, will be suiting up for the Bobcats this season, but only for 5 yet-to-be determined home games.  The announcements will come 2 hours prior to game time.

Oh wait! What’s that? The Bobcats just sold out all 41 of their home games next season? How convenient.

Now, the third worst attended team in the NBA (based on percentage) is suddenly the highest, competing with the likes of the Bulls, the Mavericks and the Heat as millions worldwide flock to see Air Jordan lace up those emblematic sneakers one last time.

Yes, questions still exist like, “What can a 49 year old man who dresses like this do for the worst team in basketball history?” Nothing, but at least the arena won’t look like this on a nightly basis.

No, Michael Jordan won’t improve the Bobcats record next year (Ok, maybe he will…it would be hard not to improve on a .106 winning percentage), but an energized fan base and worldwide attention can’t be a bad thing. Right?

So, the question for you, Michael Jordan, is: can coming out of retirement to play for your Charlotte Bobcats be any worse than playing with these guys?



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